In the age of the digital relationship, get ready to step back from your computer and build intimacy the good old fashioned way.
So much of our relationships nowadays are created, cultivated, and conducted online. From facebook legitimacy, to text convos and sending nudes, it seems that we’re quickly losing track of what makes relationships so great in the first place: intimacy.
Long distance relationships are also becoming increasingly normal, with the aid of video calling, and digital picture sharing, it seems like there’s not much you miss out on. But when’s the last time you had a genuine conversation with your counterpart? “Part of maintaining a great relationship is being comfortable talking about anything. Indulging in verbal imagery is a great way to build trust and begin to understand your significant other, better.” We approached a spokesperson for one of India’s top phone sex operators to discover why it’s so important to be able to have a phone conversation with your loved one…
Indian Phone Sex: What It Can Teach About Intimacy
“Phone sex establishes and maintains the ultimate fantasy” he tells us. “Because the only thing you have to work off of is what the other person is saying, you have to be really great at listening to keep the fantasy going.” Indian Sex Talk´s spokesperson says that a key point to communication failure for all couples is the inability to actively listen.
Active listening requires that one person listens intently to what the other is saying, concentrating on the words and what they believe the other person is trying to get them to understand. Once the listener believes that they understand what the speaker is saying, then they respond accordingly and remember what was said. This technique is incredibly important in a number of different arenas: hostage negotiation, corporate leadership, phone sex, and definitely relationships.
In relationships, it’s so easy to become lazy with our listening skills. Especially in the digital age. We throw in pictures, memes, emojis – all to try and better get our point across. But when we’re faced with verbal communication, we no longer have these visual aids. “Learning to understand what the other person is trying to create, without the use of visuals, is actually a lot harder than it sounds.” The spokesperson tells us. “If at any point you fail in really understanding what the other person is saying, or lose their plot and put in your own, the fantasy dries up.” For the callers, this isn’t just true for phone sex, but also for regular conversation.
Learning to Communicate Effectively
“For example, if I’m talking to a woman who suggests that she is turned on by legs, and I start talking about eyes, we’re no longer having a conversation about her interests and turn-ons, we’re talking about mine.” At that point the conversation becomes a power struggle (whose interest is more important), and it will dry up and become an impasse. In teaching yourself great active listening skills, the flow of conversation comes more easily.
“It tends to have a bit of a see-saw effect” the spokesperson concludes. Captivating your audience, by showing them that they are understood and their interests are important, will generally entice them to reflect that back onto you at some point in the conversation. Leading to these really deep and explicit conversations. Active listening practice will also build trust, which is absolutely necessary for long distance relationships.
Exchange of Information
Once you start learning how to intimately communicate with your partner, they in turn start intimately communicating with you. Leading to much more enjoyable conversations. “When you start really listening to what your partner is saying, and understanding what they’re saying, it stimulates the reward system in your brain, creating this network of positive reactions.” In short, the spokesperson says “you start to feel really good just by chatting with the other person.”
Which is something that is often overlooked in the long distance relationship. The inherent stress of juggling your everyday life and then carving out time for your SO, can put unnecessary pressure on the relationship itself. Creating these feel good conversations early makes that intimate contact become a treat, something to look forward to in your day – whether it’s because you’re now having off the charts hot phone sex, or just because you finally get to enjoy talking to one another.
