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Gaslighting is a manipulative technique used to make you doubt your perceptions, memories, or sanity. It’s subtle, often invisible, and profoundly harmful. Recognizing these tactics is your first step toward reclaiming your confidence and emotional freedom.
Here are 7 common gaslighting tactics and exactly how you should respond:
1. Denial of Facts
Gaslighters outright deny something happened, even when there’s clear evidence. They’ll say things like, “That never happened. You’re imagining things.”
How to respond: Firmly restate your reality: “I clearly remember what happened, and denying it doesn’t change that.”
2. Minimizing Your Feelings
They trivialize your emotions to make them seem insignificant. Statements like “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting” are common.
How to respond: Express confidence in your feelings: “My feelings are valid, and I won’t accept them being minimized.”
3. Blaming You for Their Behavior
Gaslighters often shift blame by saying things like, “I wouldn’t get angry if you didn’t provoke me.”
How to respond: Maintain clarity on responsibility: “You alone are responsible for your behavior, regardless of how you feel.”
4. Diverting Conversations
Changing the topic or twisting the conversation away from their problematic behavior is common. This keeps you off balance.
How to respond: Stay focused and redirect the conversation: “We can discuss that separately, but first, let’s finish talking about this issue.”
5. Using Confusion
Gaslighters create confusion by contradicting themselves or using vague statements to keep you uncertain.
How to respond: Demand clarity: “Your statements are unclear. Can you clarify exactly what you mean?”
6. Discrediting You to Others
They subtly spread misinformation to make others doubt your credibility, saying things like, “She’s been so stressed lately; she gets confused easily.”
How to respond: Address misinformation directly and calmly: “If you have questions about something I’ve said, I’m here to clarify.”
7. Constant Criticism and Judgement
Continually criticizing your thoughts, decisions, and actions creates self-doubt and dependence.
How to respond: Set firm boundaries: “I appreciate feedback, but constant criticism is not acceptable. Please respect my choices.”
Recognizing gaslighting tactics empowers you to maintain your reality and set clear boundaries. Trust yourself, stand firm in your truth, and know that clarity and confidence are your best defense.
