You can’t change how the whole world treats you. What’s in your control is the way you set boundaries for those who don’t treat you right. Everyone knows at least one person they do not get with well and wish that if that person vanished their life would be so much easier. You cannot keep pleasing everyone and certainly not those who are not respectful of either you or your life choices. So, you either ask them to back off and let you lead your life the way you want or you smartly set your boundaries so that nobody is hurt when you confront them.
At times, we choose to stay quite in the fear that we might offend someone who may be better off than you in every respect. But you are an equal human with your set of rights and no matter what nobody should be messing around with the way you are or what you wish to do. Set your dignity right. Whether others hurt yours intentionally or not you need to make them understand by setting your boundaries with them. Your mental stability is important. You should matter the most not anyone else. [Read: 10 Tips for taking a break from life!]
Understand where you would like to draw that boundary
Setting your boundaries is not the same for anyone no matter how alike you think. While I would just like to be left alone when I get too moody, you might wish that people just treat you well or stay instead of trying to mess with your life. Understand what you want first and then it is easier to decide on what course of action to take. Focus on your priorities.
Analyse if you are wrong
Is there something that you are doing that is causing people to stress you out? Did you really give them an upper hand to mess with you whenever you want? Well, if you are the one who allowed that, then accept the consequences. If you look from a third person’s perspective, they may not be all that wrong and may have some definite reasons of acting the way they do. So, you could try looking at things from all perspectives rather than victimising yourself. [Read: 6 Things that you will have to accept if you want a successful relationship]
Don’t decide when you are angry
Anger can make you do things that you never intend to. You will hurt people which might be difficult for them to process. You will almost always regret whatever you do when you are angry. So, it is best to decide on anything with a calm head. Too much aggression can give you regrets while staying too reserved can let people take you for granted. So, stay calm, and grounded while you make yourself clear.
Stop faking anything
People aren’t stupid. They can catch it when you are trying to be superficially nice. Be absolutely honest with what you have to tell them. The clearer you are the better the understand. Initially it might hit them bad but that is much better them making them chew your bitterness every day. Let them then decide if they want to be around you. Those you want you to be better off, will give you the space that you need. [Read: Best ripostes to people making you feel ugly!]
Learn to say ‘No’
Emotional attachments can make it difficult for us to take a stand and shut out people who stress us out. While it is good to be kind and sensitive towards others it is also important that you say ‘No’ when they cross their boundaries with you. When you learn to say ‘No’ you make your task easier. problems are easier to handle when you can directly approach trouble makers with a ‘No’. [Read: 5 Signs you are no better than a doormat to him]
Stop taking responsibility for people
You can’t spend our life justifying the actions of people. While it might sound rude when you turn people down but what matters is self- care even if that means some people feel bad about your blunt behaviour. You can’t control what others feel. You should be more worried about how you keep yourself sane for that is what you are solely responsible for. You’ll feel happier when you are finally at peace with yourself not when you allow people to chaos in your life at the cost of your happiness.
Talk only what is necessary
While it would be nicer if people really were open with each other. Life would be so much easier. But when they are not, you have to be a lot more careful about what you choose to share with whom and when. Let people earn that place in your life before you head out to become an open book to them. Washing your dirty linen everywhere will only make people judge you more and deprive you of respect. Unless you have respect none of your relationships will sail smooth. [Read: 10 Simple ways to respect yourself!]
