According to research, 1 out of 4 women between the ages 45 to 64 are found to be suffering from depression triggered by premenopausal and menopausal symptoms, compared to 1 out of 10 men.
What are menopausal mood swings?
The menopausal mood swings are basically the result of the woman’s conscious awareness about her age and bodily shortcomings which she cannot do anything about and hence the frustration, accumulated stress and depression. This is the time when she is besieged with insecurities amounting from stress and needs to be reassured about her capacities repeatedly.
Menopausal mood swings are accompanied by hot flushes, depression, and insecurity that lead to the lowering of one’s confidence, a lot of emotional outbursts and mental breakdown and we being the closest to our mothers have to bear the brunt of these symptoms set off by menopause. But as difficult as it may get for us we must understand that she needs our help and utmost patience to get through this phase in life which is inevitable. It is important to act supportive and walk our mothers out through this phase in life when insecurity and depression takes over so that we must be there by her side assuring her of her substance and our irrevocable love for her.
Here’s sharing my experience with you so you can make out what the symptoms can be like:
When I had my mother going through her menopause, I used to find her crying herself to sleep almost every night and it got really uncomfortable for me. I was young then and had not much of an idea as to how to make anything better. I used to ask her what it was that was bothering her so much and she would tell me that it was about my growing up and becoming distant from her, getting to lead a life of my own where she could feel she was losing importance to me and that she was unwanted, nobody would need her any longer. I used to find myself at a loss for words and things to do to assure her of my love because I was too young to realise that all of that was actually caused because of the changes in hormones that required some manipulation, more external than internal.
It was only later that I learnt what it actually was all about and my mother and I had in fact sat out and talked about it. So here I am sharing with you girls a few easy tips to help you and your mum get through her menopause much less stressfully – tips which I lacked access to.
BE UNDERSTANDING – IT’S THE SYMPTOMS AND NOT HER
First of all, you need to understand that it is not her person that is behaving the way she is; it is hormones which lead her to feel the way she is and in turn cause her to release her frustrations onto you.
BE EMPATHETIC AND PAMPERING
You being her daughter have the potential to verbally assure her and grant support, letting her know that you are going to be there by her side while she goes through this phase in life and that you understand it is the symptoms that are causing such drastic emotional outbursts in her but that you are going to love her regardless of her mood swings.
BE HER EXERCISE PARTNER
Working out is a great way to lift one’s mood up. Give your mother company. Try and go for walks in the morning or evening and if you have provision to work out at home then what could be better? But make sure that you do it regularly with her to motivate her into doing it. It helps in releasing stress and balancing out hormones immediately. However for a long-lasting effect it must be done on a regular basis.
TALK ABOUT IT
Try to make her talk about it. Initiate talks about the menopause. Encourage her to talk about it with her friends who have either already passed the phase or are going through it at present.
MEDITATION HELPS
Meditation practices help in getting rid of negative thoughts out of your system. Meditation doesn’t have to comprise your creating of a blank space in your head or trying to visualise a white screen but what it ideally means is to check your thoughts and how they affect your mood. Persuade her to take on meditation or join a class with her.
REMIND HER TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE BLESSINGS
She shouldn’t stress herself out by over thinking but must recount everything positive in her life, especially when she is feeling dull or low. But of course as thinking and feeling humans there will be times when we’ll have things to worry about, so there is one means to handle the worrying in a better way. Ask her to mark out a specific time during the day; say for about a few minutes while having dinner when she can spend time worrying about whatever. Set her a time. Be her guardian.
ASK HER TO SET SMALL GOALS AND TAKE THEM ON ONE AT A TIME
Each time you feel under confident because of things you have been looking to pursue or complete which remain unfinished, try and set yourself a task of finishing one at a time. Be reasonable and realistic. Don’t over pressurise yourself. Complete one task after another. Even the merest of tasks when fixed can help boost your confidence.
SIMPLE BREATHING EXERCISES ARE HELPFUL
Mood swings accompanied by hot flushes can be irksome. Yoga an aerobics will work in her favour. Light breathing exercises can relieve her of hot flushes and mood swings too to an extent.
ADVICE HER TO CUT BACK ON THE BOOZE
Alcohol has the capacity to lift one’s mood immediately after a drink or two but in a while it starts to make one feel low and depressed. So make sure she cuts down on the booze. Limit alcohol consumption to perhaps once in two weeks. Increase water intake. Water helps to naturally flush out toxins in the body, promoting a better mood.
PLAN HER LITTLE PLEASURES
Everybody deserves some time off to indulge in some guilty pleasures so why should she be the odd one out holding herself back? Engage her activities which have the potential to lift her mood up, even if it means letting go of precious time from her already tight schedule. Remind her that before one sets out to do anything else one must be content in themselves and unless one is happy, nothing is going to seem right. Everything will be compromised. You might want to accompany her in taking that ride along the lake
THE FOOD SHE EATS EFFECTS HER BRAIN
Food has a huge role to play in manoeuvring your mood. She must try and avoid overtly fatty foods and lots of sweet. Instead she should stick to a healthy diet, consisting of fruits, vegetables, healthy fat and protein. Also make sure she avoids caffeine and goes for herbal tea like chamomile for example. The brain is very sensitive to what we eat and drink and because 60 per cent of the brain is made up of essential fatty acids.
REMIND HER THAT LESS IS MORE
Ask her not to chide herself for not always being able to keep up to her expectations out of herself but to slow down, and pay more attention to those things at hand that she thinks are important to her. She shouldn’t feel guilty for not being able to do all that everyone else is doing or taking up. It may not be what she really needs. What she really needs is to calm down and take one thing at a time but mostly she needs your love.
This should help make it easy for the both of you. All the best! Feel free to write to us, sharing your comments in the section below.
