“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
-Mark Twain
Anger is a terrible thing. It builds nothing but has the power to destroy everything. A person who has little control over his anger is not only damaging his relationships but also hurting himself. It has the ability to destroy your life! So what do we do to bring the beast under control? Why do we feel so vulnerable under its supremacy? Is it normal to get angry?
Understanding anger
The emotion of anger is perfectly normal and healthy. Though it is a bad feeling, it is perhaps good to make someone realize the wrong they’ve done to you. It is good to let out your anger so it makes you feel better. But hey, don’t let that anger turn into rage. It can have permanent and serious damage. We get angry when we are disappointed, when our wishes are not fulfilled, when our expectations are not met, when we are stressed. We should learn to express our sadness and outrage without hurting others. Anger won’t earn you respect, it will make you a social stain and wave people away from you. It will consume you and cause mental distress. Anger can be brought under control and once you master the skill of commanding the wild beast, the positive results will be enthralling.
Taming anger
It is stupid to think that venting your anger over others will relieve you of the pain. It is also stupid to suppress your anger. You have to express it but without hurting others. An outburst is only going to add fuel to the fire. Anger afflicts your physical and mental health, your relationships and career. The steps below will put an end to your struggle and help you combat with anger more easily.
- Know why you’re angry – is it because your needs are not met or it is because you are trying to mask other feelings such as embarrassment, disappointment, shame, or vulnerability? If under many circumstances, your immediate response is anger, it might be true that you are trying to hide your true feelings. Emotional awareness is an important part of life. Understand the reasons why your are upset and avoid blowing up for unnecessary reasons.
- Check for signs – be aware of the physical changes taking place in you when you’re about to blow up. Signs such as clenching fists and teeth, knots in stomach, rapid breathing, tighter shoulders, pounding heart are sure sings that you’re going to unfold your outburst. Avoid people, places and things that make you angry. We often blame situations and things when we are angry but that’s completely untrue. Situations and circumstances have little to do with our feelings. You need to have a positive outlook on life and accept things as they are. Overgeneralizing and jumping to conclusions will cause unnecessary aggravation.
- Relax – once you’re aware of the physical signs, try to bring your mind under control. Take deep breaths. Think about all the good things ever happened to you. Take a brisk walk for a good five minutes. Massage your head and neck. Listen to good music. Walk away form the people, place or thing and try not to think about it. Instead focus on counting slowly to ten so as to divert your mind. If you still feel the same, start counting again. More tips to relax here: 7 evening rituals to help you relax
- Give yourself a reality check – is it worth getting angry for? Is it important? Is it helping you in any way? If the answer is no, take a step back and let other things rule your day. Focus on the present and realize the damage you’re going to inflict if you hurt someone. Calm down. Talk about the problem and sort it out. Don’t stress over it. Just don’t. Problems are temporary and they are going to end. How boring life would be if there were no troubles?
