If you’re relationships aren’t working, there could be resolved issues that you need to fix as soon as possible. You need to realize what’s really working for you and what needs to be changed if you want a healthy, fulfilling relationship for a happy life. When single and looking for “the one”, you might get stuck repeating old behaviors that don’t work for you. A little introspection may help you find out issues that make you choose the same type of people who aren’t great for you.
- Stop judging too quick
You may have your fears that hold you back from trusting someone with all your heart but you need to control that urge to draw an assumption in haste. Slow down and give it time as good things don’t happen overnight. Your potential mate may exhibit habits that are different from yours and that’s okay. It’s the contrasting behavior that keeps relationships going.
- Avoid looking for instant gratification
We love the dopamine hit when sparks fly initially. You don’t necessarily need intense attraction right away for things to work in the long haul. Give your potential mate some time to show you who they really are rather than let that connection build slowly.
- You don’t need to wait for the perfect moment
There is no right time to start dating or taking risks with your heart. You don’t need to be the perfect human being to have the most beautiful relationship you’ve always dreamt of. It’s good to set high standards but being realistic is key or you’ll end up chasing people who don’t fit your reality.
- Re-evaluate your “type”
When you stick to dating the same kind of person every time, chances are, you’ll miss out on some wonderful people that hold greater potential. When you stick to the same kind of people because it seems familiar, you’ll repeat the same mistakes again. Consider meeting people who probably have a different personality than those you’ve normally hung out with. You never know what lies beyond your regular type.
- Keep your options open
Putting all your eggs in one basket can be counterproductive. When you give someone a lot of your energy and time, you put them on a pedestal. Date multiple people before you finally decide on who matches the best with you or shares your hopes and dreams. Dating truly is a numbers game and you have to risk it to find the right partner for yourself.
- Keep your ex out of the picture
Making comparisons with your ex is a perfect recipe for disaster. Avoid the urge to dig up your past and bring it in your present or you’ll end up disappointing people along with disappointing yourself. There’s a reason why your past relationships failed and it’s a good idea to leave it at that rather than making constant comparisons with every person you meet.
- Never disregard your gut feeling
No matter how attracted you are to someone, if you feel something is off, pay attention. You could be ignoring red flags that can ruin your relationship in the future. Address those right away rather than brushing them under the carpet. Give them the benefit of the doubt but be cognizant of the negative bits.
- Stop following traditional rules that don’t serve you
There are too many rules around how you should date, what you should avoid on the first date or what is not acceptable till the eighth date. Know that these rules may not work for you and keep you entangled without letting you live in the moment and do what your heart agrees to. It’s fine to share a kiss even if it’s just your first date. Attraction and emotions work differently for each one of us and it’s good to embrace things as they come. Just have an open mind and enjoy the moments.
- Keep your escapist tendencies in check
Sometimes, we tend to walk away from people we love in the fear that they may leave when we need them the most. Or that it’s better to leave first before they leave us. This is a result of childhood or past trauma that has been left unhealed. You are not alone, and it’s okay to seek help if it’s stopping you from living a healthy relationship without fear.
- Don’t stick to a timeline
There are no timelines for wonderful things happening in your life. Whether for the good or ugly, things catch you off-guard when you aren’t prepared. It’s normal to get caught in the loop of what’s following next but it’s a good idea to keep that thought off your head. Let go of the need to control the events in your life and let them come to you when the time’s right.