Use your breakup for self-improvement

Moving on is a tough job. We have all read a million articles on ‘How To Move On’, but has any of those really helped us? I don’t think so, for it is easier written than done. This article won’t help you fall out of love overnight, only alcohol and drugs can do that, but that too is ephemeral. This article will slowly guide you to the path back to sanity, where you will finally grasp and embrace the situation, forgive the past, and lighten up to let go.

Break ups can you through real tough times. A part of you di en the person you thought you would spend forever with suddenly turns his back on you. But my dear, use this situation to fall and rise up – greater and wiser. Heartbreaks are excruciatingly painful, something you can’t explain but can only feel the burning sensation of. Feel it, understand it, overcome it. For life is more than just having a boyfriend. It is so much more.

• Write

Yes, start writing. For some of us, it’s hard to talk about things and express our feelings. Or may be, we might feel that nobody cares enough to listen to our story. But we can always write our hearts out.

Grab a notebook or your iPad, or go about it the traditional way and buy yourself a fancy journal or diary and start writing. Write it all out – about what you feel, why you feel it, what happened the other day, little incidents, et cetera. Let the person inside you express freely what it wants to, you will find yourself not only feeling much lighter but also improving your writing skills.

• A Hobby

Do you like to read or paint, eat or swim, watch movies or sing, play instruments or dance, play games or drive cars? What is your passion?

It could be anything in sports, music, drama; it could even be gardening or cooking! Staying idle at this sensitive phase is a big no-no. Keep yourself occupied doing something you think you would enjoy doing. We all have something we love doing, don’t we? Think about what you take pleasure in doing the most and get busy!

• Block Your Ex

If you don’t block him, you stalk him. So block him. Shut him out. It’s over, it’s done. You guys enjoyed, had fabulous and passionate moments together, but it’s all in the past. And right now, in the process of moving on, the last thing you want to do is to let his life and updates bother you.

Cutting all connections is the only way to keep him at the back of your mind, till he ceases to lurk in your brain altogether.

• Friends or No Friends, You’re Good To Go

It doesn’t matter if your friends show up when you call them over, or your friends stick by you through your break-up. We are all pretty self-centered here, so we must never rely on one another to help us through thick-and-thin. We have busy lives, busy schedules, and our problems to cry over.

It’s more important for you to be there for yourself. Take delight in your company, love yourself a little, and laugh with yourself a lot. The rest of the world can wait.

• No Rebound

Do not jump into another relationship. It is a huge mistake, you will end up hurting someone or yourself again, things will be a mess, you are going to make it worse!

Wait. Take time off. Learn more about life and yourself. Evaluate what you have learnt from the past mistakes. Set your standards straight. Keep your head high and independent. You don’t always need a man to survive.

• Socialise

A good way to start picking up the pieces is by going out with the people you have been ignoring for a long time. When you were in a relationship, all you did was hang out with him mostly, his friends, and rarely your own. But it’s time you started making amends.

Meet up with the folks whose company you had been neglecting, attend a party, socialise a little. Stop letting your heartbreak consume you. Go out there, make small-talk with everybody and live a little. I guarantee, you will enjoy the company of these light-hearted people and some of your pain will be forgotten in those moments.

• Forgive The Situation

Unless you forgive the situation, brush off the past, forgive the man who broke your heart, it is not going to be an easy task. Forgiveness is the ultimate step to freeing yourself.

Embrace the entire situation, feel it, cry your system dry, then slowly forgive it. Smile. Breathe and smile, because you have finally felt it, and now you can walk past it.

Forgiveness is a big word. Only some of us are capable of forgiving, the rest only pretend. Which one of those are you going to be?

• Explore

Save up enough money and go for a vacation, travel the world and explore. Go out on a pilgrimage to finding your true self – to give meaning to your life. To finally comprehend that life is not all fun and games, life is more. Life is as vast as the universe and beyond. Find your purpose by finding the real you.

Broken hearts are mended by the pleasurable destinations you travel to, the different lives you touch, the diversity of cultures you experience, the things you see, the people you meet along the way and the mishmash of stories of love, pain and warfare you hear everyday.

Believe me, when your pilgrimage is over, you will return a changed human being.

• You Are A Free Bird

Image Courtesy: Instagram Account: indian.skin

A woman is a free spirit – a bird that cannot be caged, a tiger that cannot be tamed, and a Sun that will never refuse to shine.

Subsume your newly found freedom and cherish it while it is still there. It’s your life, you make your decisions, and there is nobody to have frequent fights with you, make you feel you are not good enough, cheat on you, lie to you and leave you when your deepest interests are at stake.

Nobody like that exists anymore, and you know, from here on, you must make the right decisions or go through the cumbersome process of moving on from a heartbreak again.

So soar higher and higher instead, like the free bird you are.

• Personal Revolution

Image Courtesy: Instagram Account: indian.skin

Lastly, change must come from within and not just to satisfy the world. We tend to do things for other people. We behave in a certain way and do the things we do because we feel that otherwise, we will not be liked the same. We try to live up to other people’s expectations more than our own. We have built this fictional image of ourselves that we are trying so hard to stick to that in the process we forget who we really are.

Why? There is no need for this facade anymore. The sooner you realise that this pompous pretence is pointless, the better it will be for mending your broken heart.

Live the life you were always meant to live. Quit feigning. It’s time we grew up, started loving and putting ourselves first.

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.”

-Jim Morrison

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