Why do you feel the need to seek approval from others? You don’t have to defend or explain your life choices to anyone. You don’t have to worry about justifying any of your life choices. You are not obliged to do anything you don’t want to. You don’t have to agree to an invitation under pressure. If you would rather be somewhere else then don’t go to such an event just because someone sent you an invitation.
We worry about justifying our life choices and decisions because we want people to like us. We want them to have a good image of us in their minds. It is totally natural and human for us to do so. But the point here is that it is your life so why do you feel the need to validate your choices to someone else? There are so many people who are just waiting to comment and question your life choices. There are people who are just too easy to judge you for the things you do.
Why We Offer An Explanation Of Our Life Choices?
Whenever you do something you might feel this urge to explain it to the others in your life. That is because you are either a people pleaser or you seek approval and acceptance from the person. Here are a few reasons why we justify our life choices.
Self Doubt
When you doubt your own capabilities and choices you go seeking approval from those around you. You put a whole lot of your energy firstly by over thinking it and then by over-explaining it to people. It is a torture to explain it all and wait for another person to agree or disagree with it. Every time you explain, an internal tug of war takes place inside your mind.
To Build A Deeper Connection With Someone
Sometimes, we give an explanation to those people whom we trust a lot because we want them to understand us in a better way. More than understanding we want them to support us in our life choices whether they agree or disagree with it. We take extra care to explain things clearly and precisely.
To Ease Our Own Guilt
We feel guilty for choosing something that another person might not like. The guilt provokes us to give an explanation and justify our life choices. We feel burdened with it. We worry about explaining it to them without hurting them. You see, the problem here is that we prioritize the person more than ourselves in our life. We keep his/ her opinions, wishes, wants and happiness before our own. But it is okay to be selfish sometimes. People might think it is rude but you have to lead a life for yourself.
To Control The Other Person’s Response
When you feel that your decision is going to hurt someone and you are not prepared to face the wrath of that person and you clearly don’t want them to be disappointed in you, you launch it a whole explanation about what prompted you to make this choice. We feel that if we give a compelling reason the person will see the things in our light. Well, know this that you can explain things to people but you can’t understand it for them.
So these might be the possible reasons why people actually try to justify their life choices and worry about it. But you don’t have to defend your life choices to anyone. The person should like you for who you are. Stop doubting yourself and your choices. Even if you did make a mistake, it is your life and you don’t have to justify your life to anyone. Well, you would have now understood that most of the times we explain our back-story to those who we really care too much for. But let me tell you a truth, you can’t really control what others think of you, you can’t stop them from thinking otherwise of you. You can’t always please them because you are two different people and you are going to disagree at some point of time. So just take a chill pill and stop worrying about pleasing them.
Things You Never Have To Justify About Your Life
If you are seeking advice from someone, then it is okay but don’t seek approval. The final decision should be yours and after that, you shouldn’t feel like you have to explain your life choices. You have taken a decision and you have a gut feeling that it is right for you then you don’t have to justify, defend or explain it to anyone. Here are a few things you should never justify to anyone
The Past
You can’t wipe out things that happened in your past. Moreover, it shouldn’t define your present. Of course, your past is what shaped you into who you are today and you shouldn’t worry about justifying it to others. You might feel insecure due to your past choices and your mind might push you to explain, defend and justify your life choices to others but don’t. You shouldn’t feel like that. You don’t owe anything to anyone.
Your Career Choice And Education
All through your schooling and education, you might have heard people advising you and commenting you on your scores and such. They don’t stop even when you are grown enough to take decisions on your own. You’ll still find them commenting on your career or education choice. Don’t bother to change their views. You don’t need to justify anything about your career choice to them. It is your life, your career and it is you who has to go through whatever you decide.
Your Religious Or Non-Religious Choices
There are a lot of people who are religious, believing in god. There are also few who don’t believe in god. Whether you choose to believe in god or not is something that should be your choice. And you shouldn’t feel like you owe an explanation to people for being an atheist or a theist. Don’t justify the choices to others.
To Have A Family Or Not
Never feel the need to justify what goes in your life. You don’t have to justify yourself: you don’t want to get married, you don’t want to have a child, if you don’t want to give up on your career, if you choose your kids before your husband. All of it is your choice. People will judge you but that doesn’t mean you have to explain it to them.
Anything That Pertains To Your Body
Women have always had to justify their choices to the society. They have had to explain what goes on, in and anywhere near their body. But why? Why should you explain? Why do you need to justify? You don’t have to rationalize things about your hairstyle, your body, your clothes, your sexual preference, your sexuality, your choices regarding sex both after and before marriage, your choice to wear makeup or to not wear makeup, to dress modestly or to show off the skin. No, don’t let people bully you or coerce you. It is your choice.
Get past your insecurities and lead your life for yourself. Don’t seek approval from others. Don’t justify your choices, decisions to anyone and at the same time don’t demand others to justify their choices to you. Don’t be a hypocrite.
